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Happy New Year (Pinapple)

Darlain's picture

She slumped into her bed, feeling heavy and exhausted. A large part of her hated what she did, wanted to take back that evening, feel the warmth of that lovely woman curled up beside her.

 

She’d requisitioned this bed for Kaewynn, a nice and spacious human sized bed for them to share on those rare occasions they could get away with it, though she was sure that everyone knew what they had been getting up to. Now it felt gigantic, when all she wanted to do was curl up into a tiny ball.

 

It hurt, so much, she felt tears welling up again, annoyed at herself for getting so emotional about this. She’d decided on this over a week ago, tried and failed to do it several times. She had work to do, people who needed her, and her work at the fort was difficult enough. She’d thought about staving it off again, after swimming with her and the other dragoons, she almost changed her mind. It would have been so easy, just lead her up her and have a lovely night together.

 

But there would have been that same emptiness in the morning. The realization that what they had done meant something to her. And so tonight she was alone again, more alone than she’d felt in a long time.

 

She cried for some time, feeling like a silly little girl, stupid and immature. She had known what this was from the beginning, but let herself get this deep before ending things. She wanted to hope for something that wasn’t there to begin with.

 

In time, all she felt was weariness. In the morning, she would be needed, it would be nice to get to work, distract her mind again. Forget the lonliness.

 

"Happy New Year" she said with an unexpected bitterness in her voice, and then fell asleep

Comments

Henii's picture

((Poor Pin D: her year

((Poor Pin D: her year certainly is not starting good.))

How would it end
If the truth was re-writable
Break with past
Whatever dreams you long for
I've seen what the future has in mind for me