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The Past Can Hurt

Nirahsa's picture

She remembered.

The realization was as sudden as the the anger that coursed through her, the disgust that backed up in her throat, the sorrow that welled in her heart. Even the happiness that brought a swish to her tail, as memories of her past came back, one by one.

Asharin had done something, she didn’t know what or even if it had been intentional since after waking up the tinkerer hadn’t had the voice of her opposite drifting through her head at all. It had just been flashes of green at first before the waking nightmares had started, murderous orcs leaping at her with bloodcurdling cries only to vanish.

She hadn’t gone out much lately because of it, she hadn’t wanted to lose her center.

It was strange, she’d always been so worried about remembering her past, that despite the good in it that she’d be overwhelmed by the anger and hatred becoming a monster again.

The guilt had taken her surprise, the flare of anger burnt out leaving that well of sorrow in its wake. The pain of what she’d done.

And the pain of remembering Shari again, the happy memories seemed tainted by the emptiness knowing that her Shari was dead. Well she’d already known that before, but that sense of loss hadn’t ever been there just the fact and the sadness of what might have been.

She understood the Sargerai better now, and it made her angry. Because she realized that if they had existed on her Draenor that she’d have become one of them. There wasn’t any doubt, she knew in her heart that her anger at the time would have driven her to becoming the kind of fel tainted abomination she despised. What did that say about her?

Nira let out a bitter sigh, she didn’t like these feelings. Part of her wanted to jump into her flying machine and crash it deliberately, not in an attempt to kill herself. But in the vain hope that whatever injuries she might sustain would cause her to forget again.

The light had faded in her room, night having set in and the shaman been so distracted with her gloomy thoughts she’d forgotten to turn on the lights.

The Light…

Had gone..

Nira blinked before it dawned on her. She needed to go to the Exodar, there was someone she had to talk to.