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Having To Let Go

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(Lycandria Marilyn Ravenholdt)

*Trigger Warning: Regarding Infants*

Coming to the pond just outside the Dwarven District of Stormwind, Lycandria spots Curlaina at the requested spot from her note. As Curlaina sits relaxing and watching the waterfall, Lycandria quietly sits down next to her and removes her hood.

Curlaina looks over at Lycandria, and her eyes widen a little. "Good evening, Miss Ravenholdt."

"Evening Curlaina. How are you doing?" Lycandria asks softly.

"I'm doing okay... I hope you and the league are okay." Curlaina responds.

Lycandria nods. "We are getting back on our feet again, and I have you to thank for a lot of that... Doran tells me I wouldn't be alive if not for your efforts."

Curlaina shrugs and smiles slightly. "I'm sure Doran could have done everything I did."

Lycandria shakes her head lightly. "He does what he can, but he talks very highly of you... and I know it's because he can see you are very good at what you do... I still remember the day we met and I saw the same."

Curlaina shrugs again. "Thank you."

"Also, I assume Timory has been with you?" Lycandria asks.

"Yes, ma'am. She said she didn't want me wandering off on my own." Curlaina replies.

Lycandria nods. "I'm glad you two have a special bond, and I've watched your friendship grow."

Curlaina smiles slightly and nods.

Lycandria pauses for a moment in thought, choosing her words carefully. "If you are able to, I just want to know what happened that made you want to leave. You can be completely honest with me, and I won't hold you back if you don't want to come back to the league. I just really care about what's going on with my members."

Curlaina turns her head slightly and glances at Lycandria, taking a breath and letting it out slowly. "I just don't think I fit in there, ma'am. You are all experienced explorers and fighters and... and I just didn't feel that I fit in."

Lycandria listens attentively, looking at Curlaina and nodding. "Well, I probably should have given you more credit on your skills a long time ago. With Amelia being taken, it really put alot of stress on me not wanting to lose someone else. I knew from the moment we met that you were very capable..."

Curlaina shakes her head slightly. "That's not really it, ma'am."

Lycandria looks over to Curlaina.

"They were always talking about fighting and dying and arguing with each other... and I don't want to do any of those things." Curlaina adds.

Lycandria slowly nods. "I need to get a better handle on them about that too. It's not something I really wanted honestly... Also, it's important to know that we aren't all like that, and for me personally I understand why it's not an ideal environment for you."

Curlaina frowns a little and shrugs. "Maybe it's just who they are. They live exciting lives and that's how they talk about it."

Lycandria sighs for a moment, pausing in thought and looking at the water. "I left the manor for the very same reasons, being tired of all the yelling, stress, and fighting all the time. I knew there had to be more to life than that... It's meeting people like you that really allows me to understand what's most important again." She then turns back to Curlaina. "About the sparring, I never really intended for that to be anything close to a priority for you... And I feel that with the skill you already had, plus spending time with Timory has gotten you enough experience with a blade."

Curlaina glances at Lycandria, and then looks back at the water. "Seemed more like everyone wanted me to spar with someone."

Lycandria nods in understanding, sighing lightly. "The main reason I came to the cathedral square that day wasn't to find another skilled fighter... We needed someone skilled in things we could't perform or understand... In fact, I was coming across my reports a few weeks back, before the attack of course, and I was about to move a lot of you into the official league ranks."

Curlaina nods slowly. " I suspected as much, ma'am... but I think... I think you might be better with someone that has more experience exploring and adventuring."

Lycandria slowly nods to Curlaina. "It's your choice ultimately to do what you want, and I want you to know I'll respect that... I hate to see you go, but I know you are going to be a good addition anywhere you go. I know you will do wonderful."

Curlaina nods slowly. "Thank you, Miss Ravenholdt."

Lycandria returns the nod, and smiles weakly. "But, I want you to remember you will always have a place with us at the league if you want it."

"Thank you, ma'am." Curlaina responds.

Lycandria sighs and looks out at the water. "I'm sure I will stay in contact with you regardless, and I know Timory will still be there for you too."

Curlaina nods.

Lycandria looks back over at Curlaina. "Lastly, I will always be at your side and come to your call when needed. You are a wonderful woman, and you are going to do great things."

Curlaina turns and looks at Lycandria. "Thank you, Miss Ravenholdt."

After a brief pause, Lycandria asks. "Is there anything else you need?"

Curlaina shakes her head slightly. "I don't think so, ma'am. I just need to figure things out for myself now, I think."

Lycandria nods and leans over to hug Curlaina gently. "Take care of yourself, and if things start to get bad with whoever is trying to find you, I'll be there in a heartbeat. I'll stay in touch through Timory if that makes things easier."

"Yes, ma'am." Curlaina nods.

Lycandria slowly stands and looks at the waterfall for a moment, taking in the soothing sound. "And as always Curlaina..."

Curlaina looks up at Lycandria.

Lycandria turns, looking at Curlaina with a smile. "Keep your blades sharp."

Curlaina smiles and nods. "You, too, ma'am."

Lycandria puts her hood back on and makes her way through Stormwind, heading back through the portal to the garrison on Draenor.

--------------------------------------------------------------

After a few hours, Lycandria arrives back at the Ravenholdt League garrison. She heads for the Inn to check on Amelia, Doran, and the status of the newborns. Arriving upstairs, she gently knocks on the door.

Doran sighs and takes a breath. "What."

"It's me, safe to come in?" Lycandria asks.

Whole quietly focuses all of her attention on her babies, cooing sweetly to them and gently washing her tongue over the frail male.

Doran glances at Whole for a moment, then rises and goes to the door. He opens the door, looking down at Lycandria. "Gotta talk to you."

Lycandria nods. "Out here?"

Doran nods. "Yes."

Lycandria nods again and steps back into the hall with Doran. She walks over to the table and sets her hand down, looking at Doran in the chair.

Doran finally mutters. "He's dying..."

Lycandria frowns looking down at the table, slowly nodding. "I was afraid you'd say that..." She pauses briefly, looking back up at Doran. "How is she holding up?"

"Not good... Desperate to save him, but there's nothing to be done. Still has the holes in his heart... the disfigured lung. Mind's all... hazy." Doran trails off.

Lycandria slowly nods, sighing lightly. "At least he will know he was loved." 

"Was hoping for him to have at least that, instead of passing alone... cold and thinkin' nobody cared about him." Doran responds.

"He certainly won't be soon forgotten." Lycandria looks down at her gloves, squeezing her hand as the leather creaks. "He will pay for all of this, Doran. I promise." She gives Doran a serious and determined look.

Doran nods. "When we find this guy Ly... don't have a soul in my way that you don't want dead... Not gonna be in a good place."

Lycandria nods back at Doran. "Two entirely innocent lives never had much of a chance, and those deeds will not go unpunished." She says, looking down and rubbing at her stomach. "We will move on, and the league will be stronger together."

Doran looks up at Lycandria, then stands and hugs her gently in place.

Lycandria sinks into Doran's arms and closes her eyes. "At least not all was lost..." She says softly, rubbing through Doran's furry mane in a comforting manner.

Doran sighs and relaxes a bit against Lycandria. "Girl's doing real, real good yeah... Couldn't ask for better."

Lycandria nods on his shoulder. "I just got back from Stormwind... Me and Curlaina finally got to talk."

Doran looks down at Lycandria. "You found her? Fel's going on?"

"I don't think she was ready for all this, and so I had to let her go. I know she is going to be a great addition wherever she goes, and I hated to let her walk away... but what can you do?" Lycandria pauses and sighs lightly. "I hope she finds what she is looking for in the end... She's a good woman with alot of potential."

"Tell her she picked the worst fuck all time to do something like this?" Doran asks abruptly.

Lycandria sighs. "I didn't want to push her away anymore than she likely already felt. I just told her she was always welcome back here, and that was about it." She says, continuing to lean on Doran quite comfortably.

Doran looks down at Lycandria after a few moments. "Ly... we gotta get back in there."

Lycandria nods, raising her head from him to look in his eyes. "Okay. I need to go change and settle in for bed... Just let me know if anything comes up." She looks back at the door to Whole's room. "I want her to have as much time as she can with him, before it's too late."

Doran nods at Lycandria, before heading back into the room with Whole and the babies.

Whole is staring at the tiny male baby, eyes wide and muzzle open in a silent scream. Her face locked in a horrified grief ridden expression, and her chest isn't moving as if she's sucked in her breath and holding it, waiting for something to happen.

Doran uses his tether to check on the little one, no longer seeing that light in his eyes or feeling his warmth.

Lycandria pokes her head in the door to check on them before leaving. She glances at Whole on the bed and frowns. "I'll give her some time..."

Doran breathes out raggedly as his lip twitches. He grips the bedposts tightly, with a low whine escaping him.

Lycandria nods at Doran and wipes a tear from her eye, closing the door and heading back to her quarters.