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A Fashionable Rescue, part 2

Drogar's picture

Deep in one of the hidden valleys that dot the burning steppes, a ramshackle wooden structure sits nestled against a box canyon wall. Three stories tall and with a set of mine cart tracks leading out of a lower enterance in a pit. Hoodoos and boulders dot the otherwise lifeless landscape, the home base of the Reliable Excavation and Demolitions Corporation, a front for the Teufort Mercenaries. The Meddlers, Staroda, Lirriel, and Cassandra Miller of SI:7 knelt down along the top of the canyon, surveying the area.

"Alright, we have a plan. Every week, the mercs move another shipment of hats from their employers from the loading dock at the far end of the canyon into their base. This is when they're most vulnerable, pushing the cart along that track there." Staroda explained, pointing out the track on the small mock-up he'd drawn in the dust.

"Right, and based on what you've said, they do so expecting trouble. Full combat loads to protect their precious cargo." Griznos continued, thoughtfully rubbing his chin.

"Exactly. So we'll need to ambush them and be ready for a fight. Miss Miller will be running overwatch for us. Thanks again for that." Finkswitch nodded at his former compatriot from Stormwind's Special Forces and intelligence group.

"Thank me if and only if you don't get yourselves killed. This operation isn't sanctioned, and if it goes south I was never here." Cassandra dismissed the group, handing out small radios. "These would let me provide you with status updates if I was stupid enough to be doing this."

"Alright, the Mann Flyer will be coming in any minute, let's get down there and in position." Hlin stated, strapping the radio to her pauldrons. The rest of the group nodded, then gripped the ropes and rappelled down into the canyon.


The aircraft swooping in towards the canyon was a sight to see, covered in spikes and on fire in a few places. The smoke trails left behind made the plane easy to spot, but offered a sense of menace that was difficult to match. It flew low over the canyon, dropping a pile of crates with parachutes out the rear hatch before rearing up into the air to smash into a possibly endangered condor. The crates and their precious contents drifted lazily down to the pad below in the canyon, where a group of hardened, battle-scarred mercs were waiting.

"We got 'em, we got 'em!" The excitable gnome in the red shirt declared, jumping for joy as the crates hit the ground, rushing forward to start pulling off the parachutes.

The gnome got tangled up in the cloth and string before the whole mess was hauled and tossed aside by a hobgoblin, his other hand holding a large gnomish rotary cannon. "I am very happy!" the Hob declared, triumphantly slamming a hand on one of the crates. "Ours now!"

The mercenaries set to work, lifting crates into a massive minecart, causing it to creak on its frame. A worgen with a sleek long rifle eyed the others, and the long, winding track to their base. "Throw your backs into it, boys! This ain't a walk-a-bout, push that cart!"

They'd only gone thirty yards when the ambush was sprung. The worgen, eyeing the terrain through his scope, just barely saw the disturbed dirt where the mines had been planted. "Hold still! INCOMING!" he yelled, trying to find the enemies even as the hastily buried bombs detonated, filling the area with clouds of dust.

The orc at the head of the convoy lifted his rokk-it launcher® and hollared out "MAGGOTS!" before firing the cluster rockets into the smoke, honestly making things worse, even as the gnome dashed forward, swinging a mace and laughing wildly.

"YEAH YEAH YEAH!" the gnome crowed, charging into the dust and swinging wildly. He had just connected with something solid when a massive, fuzzy, feathered foot slammed down on his chest, and he looked up to see a beak and glowing eyes underneath a pair of antlers, and a clawed hand glowing with bright sunlight.

"Got you, you spastic little gremlin!" Lenresh said triumphantly, blasting the spell of wrath into the murderous little frame, causing the gnome to go limp. Lenresh barely had time to exult in the quick defeat of his foe, as another barrage of rockets was already on the way.

"You are all weak!" The orc yelled, jamming another rocket into the launcher. "You are all BLEEDERS!" So intent he was on his explosive mayhem, he didn't notice the gnome coming up behind him and sinking a pair of daggers deep into his back. The orc fell screaming, with Finkswitch standing on his back.

"Maybe your colleages will send a man next time." The gnome smirked, drawing his daggers out and disappearing into the cloud.

Over their radios, the attackers could hear the voice of their overwatching operative. "The payload is nearing a checkpoint, get to the cart!" her voice wailed, causing the attackers to turn and see the hobgoblin, along with a white-clad goblin, pushing the cart as fast as he could along the rail, the contents of the pay load more precious than his comrades. Hlin burst forward to intercept, but was stopped in her tracks by a figure in a full body suit and mask, species and gender unknown. What was know was that it was carrying a flametosser, a weapon designed to amplify fire magic.

"Mrfer!" the figure yelled, muffled by the mask, as a massive gout of firey gas burst out and threated to engulf Hlin. Before it could reach her however, a glow of pure golden light interceded, revealing Dacianna, her shield held high and her forehead glyph glowing brightly.

"Go, Hlin!" the draenei yelled, sweating from the strain and the intense heat. "I will handle this one!" Hlin nodded her thanks, running to the right to go around the flames and link up with Lirriel, her hands already glowing with holy energies. The crazed pyromaniac opened his weapon full bore, channeling all the fire magic he could through it to try and burn through the paladin's shield, even as she advanced. "Is good time to run, coward!" She yelled, forcing herself forward until she could bring her hammer down on the flametosser, knocking away the flames and smashing her shield into the mask of the madman, causing him to crumple.

Hlin continued charging forward, Lirriel behind her at a full run, enveloping them both in protective shields to protect them from the withering fire laid down by the hobgoblin's rotary cannon. Behind the brute, the goblin in white injected serum after serum into the beast, causing him to froth at the mouth and laugh maniacally. "AAAHH HA HA HA HA! I AM BULLET PROO-" he yelled, right as a hole appeared in his head, splattering the goblin with blood. Halfway up the canyon, Griznos ejected the spent shell from his rifle. "What sick men sends babies to fight?" He wondered, taking a bite of his sandwich.

With the Hob down, Hlin continued forward, charging the payload, when she saw the goblin smirk, pushing the cart around a blind corner. Hlin slowed her charge, motioning for Lirriel to do the same, slowly peaked around the corner, and barely pulled back before a robotic sentry punched through the barrier Lirriel had on her. The pair heard a laugh come from around the corner. "Danke, mein hard-hatted friend!" the goblin's voice rang out, answered by a deeper voice.

"Woooee, you ladies shoulda' oughta' brought some menfolk with ya!" a draenei wearing overalls, goggles and a hard hat taunted, controlling the sentry cannon with his wrench. Lirriel's eye twitched, and she eyed Hlin before stepping out in full view, focusing her shields on herself. The gun started to fire, sending hundreds of shots downrange haphazardly, smashing into Lirriel's shield of faith.

"This is my world!" Lirriel yelled, faith, determination, and a little bit of anger fueling her shields. "You are not WELCOME IN MY WORLD!" she declared, raising her hand to the sky, calling down a pillar of fire onto the machine and smashing it.

"Sentry down!" The draenei yelped, dropping his wrench and reaching for his shotgun, but not fast enough to stop lirriel from smashing his mind with a blast of shadow magic. Lirriel paused a moment to calm herself as Hlin caught up.

"No! Cart's moving wrong way!" Hlin yelled, tearing off into a run as the goblin sneered at her from on top of the cart while a dark iron dwarf with an eyepatch pushed at it. Hlin's charge once once again stopped, this time by a tackle from Staroda, throwing her to the right.

"Couldn't you see the bloody bombs?!" Staroda yelled, helping the dwarf back up and eyeing the area. A number of small spheres covered in spikes littered the ground, explosives laid by the dwarf in all likelihood. Staroda winked at Hlin, and the two tore off, moving fast and trying to make use of the spacing between the bombs. Explosions surrounded the pair, as the dark iron got the cart to a small hill and sent it rolling, turning to fire grenades at the charging warriors. Shrapnel tore at the pair, mitigated by Lirriel continuing to channel her prayers from the safe end of the minefield, as the warriors split up, Staroda barrelling at the dwarf and Hlin continuing to chase the cart.

"Ka-BOOOM!" the dwarf drunkenly slurred, tossing explosives at the charging elf, landing a pair of grenades right at Staroda's feet. His one eye bulged as Staroda came streaking out of the smoke, singed and blacked but no worse for wear, Lirriel's shield finally fading as Staroda's sword slammed into the dwarf's chest.

Staroda sneered at the dwarf. "Gotcha, you bomb-lobbing wanker."

Hlin's charge continued downhill, dodging needles and spikes fired at her by the mad goblin doctor, and sniper fire coming from her high left. The rifle being used was powerful, the crack of the shot echoing through the canyon with each shot, daring Hlin to do anything but find cover. The worgen loaded another shell, sighting in the charging dwarf from his high ridge, when he heard a crunching to his left. There, from behind a small, dry bush, Rhiza crouched, sword at the ready. It was all the worgen could do to say "Ahh rubbish" as the female worgen leaped on him, smashing his rifle and cutting at his body.

Down below, Hlin had finally caught up with the cart, it's momentum at an end and the goblin furiously defending it, barraging her with all manner of sharp and poisonous things. Hlin approached slowly, shield raised against the toxic barrage, and was so focused on preventing any of the poisoned sharp things from touching her that she barely noticed the ninth mercenary, a pale-skinned elf with a knife, emerge from the shadow behind her, ready to strike at her poorly defended back. The knife came down right as a rock flew up from Hlin's feet, striking the elf in the wrist. More rocks hit the assassin, even as he was caught in a sudden localized windstorm. Trying to cover his eyes from the assault, he saw a white haired draenei chanting to the rocks and air, and smiling at the little elementals as they sent their friends to beat the living hell out of the elf. The elf snarled at the audacity of it all even as he was pummeled, declaring loudly "Noooo! I have been shown who is the boss!" as he was buried under rocks and dirt.

Hlin advanced on the cart, and when the barrage of sharps stopped, she lifted her gaze to catch the charging goblin. "COME OVER HERE!" the goblin yelled in his shrill voice. "I promise I will heal you! Ah ha ha ha ha!" he yelled, lifting a reinforced bonesaw high in the air and charging. Hlin dropped her shield and sword and balled her hand into a fist, smashing it into the goblin's face, dropping him with a sickening crunching sound. As the rest of the team caught up, one sweet sound rang out over their radios.

"Victory." Cassandra Miller declared resolutely, smirking at the successful heros. Maybe not so stupid after all.


Linu Theillos's picture

There was an awful lot of win

There was an awful lot of win there... compared to an extended campaign in the Firelands, that masked match-flicker doesn't even have a clue what real fire is... Daci powah! :D

Rhianon's picture

I liked both of these tales

I liked both of these tales :-)

Henii's picture

All kinds of win!

All kinds of win!


How would it end
If the truth was re-writable
Break with past
Whatever dreams you long for
I've seen what the future has in mind for me